Breathwork & Nervous System Support
Helping you navigate
the beautiful chaos
of being human.
The Story of
Elina & Her Stardust
Hi, I’m Elina.
I grew up in a loving family.
As a child it was even embarrassing
to see how much my mom and dad
loved each other.
This was the environment I grew up in –
it felt safe, cosy and filled with love.
Like a little nest, to which I could always
return to even as an adult.
Little did I know that one day
my dad will start a secret life of his own,
my parents will get divorced,
and their personalities will change
to a point that I wouldn’t recognise
them anymore…
When all of that happened,
I learned what an ambiguous loss is –
how it feels to grieve something that
cannot often be seen on the outside.
I learned how lonely it can feel.
While my parents were exploring
their newfound freedom,
I grieved the personalities they
were shedding…
The mom and dad that
I would never see again.
As I am looking back at this time of my life,
I see it as a practice run…
A time to gather resources and tools
for something even more heart-breaking
coming my way.
This time the loss wasn’t ambiguous.
A year after my parents’ divorce,
my mom suddenly passed away.
And I was there as it happened.
This took me to the depths
of devastation I didn’t even
know existed before.
I had grieved before…
But not even close to this intensity.
I felt so angry and bitter at Life.
It seemed unfair that things
had happened the way they did.
I loved believing that every
cloud has a silver lining…
And if things haven’t ended well,
then it usually meant that it wasn't the end.
I loved having this positive outlook on life.
And suddenly
it was taken away from me.
My mom didn’t get her
happy ending.
So there I was.
In complete darkness.
And all I wanted to do was
to be in this darkness,
without anyone trying to
rush me out of it.
I wanted to be angry, and sad…
And bitter for as long
as I wished.
And that’s what I did.
I befriended my anger so deeply
that even today it’s one of my
closest emotions to feel into.
“And all I wanted
to do was to be in
this darkness,
without anyone
trying to rush me
out of it.”
/ Elina and Her Stardust
I poured myself into creativity and
let my sadness speak through me.
And I breathed through the
bitterness and pain.
Not because I wanted to free myself
from these intense emotions,
but because it felt like the only thing
my body was willing to do.
And I let her do that.
I let myself fall apart. I let myself crumble.
I let myself be sorry for myself.
And only through this darkness
I felt myself slowly rising
from the ashes.
Not like a phoenix, nor a hero.
There is no “victory” over grief.
You never get over it,
you just learn to live with it.
“Every ending holds
a promise of
a new beginning.”
/ Elina and Her Stardust
But what started as a way
of expressing my sorrow…
has slowly turned into
a collection of letters
about life.
Oh, what a strange
twist of Fate.
Because that's what my
Sunday Love Letters are.
Some are about motherhood.
Some about grief.
Some are filled with sadness.
Some are rather ridiculous.
But they’re all me.
The different parts of me.
Just reaching for the light.
And when you meet them…
When you read them…
I hope you will be kind.
Because it’s just me…
trying to make sense
of being alive.
With love,
Elina
Well ,
now you know
quite a lot about me .
I ’d say it ’s only fair
you stay for a letter
or two .And because you
read all the way to the very end,
I hope you get the last slice of
your favourite cake.