The Antique Frames

Hi my dear friend,

Sometimes there 
are things that find you…
instead of it being the other
way around.

Without seeking they just 
come into your life.

And recently 
that's what happened
with a bundle of antique frames.
An offer popped out of nowhere…
And in a heartbeat I decided 
"yes".

A few weeks later
they arrived at our home.
And I unpacked them 
one by one.

Twelve in total.

I laid them all out 
on our worn-out couch
and then I rushed to the cabinet,
to gather all the yellowing drawings
I've been keeping all this time…

To see which ones would fit
my newest find.

And then 
I paired them all up.
The drawings and the frames.
And it filled me with such joy
to see how well they all 
got along.

But amongst the drawings
I also found an old photograph
of my mom.

The one 
where she must be around 
the same age as my own 
two daughters.

So young.

Standing in the seaside breeze
in a big-buttoned coat and braids…
she's smiling directly at 
the camera lens and looking
completely herself.

Maybe she's 
just happy.

Or maybe it's 
a special day.

Because why else would she wear
black leather shoes to somewhere 
with this much sand?

That I will never know.

Because there is no one
I could ask these questions
anymore.

No one to recall that day.
No one to tell me the year it was.
No one to know what made her smile.
No one to remember what happened 
before or after the shutter closed.

What I see in this photograph
is all I've got.

You expect 
the birthdays and the holidays
to arrive with the waves 
of grief.

But sometimes they come
with a stack of old drawings and photographs
you've been keeping in the display cabinet,
behind the glass doors.

When you realise 
you've lost stories you didn't 
think to ask.

With love,
Elina Janevica

Imagery / My mother Dina by the seaside, a long time ago.