The Hum Beneath the Calm
Hi my friend,
This week,
I celebrated my birthday.
On June 19th.
There's something
about that number
- nineteen -
that's always felt like mine.
It shows up again and again
in many different ways.
Even my name day
(like a birthday celebration
but for your name),
is on the 19th…
Just in October.
So when I sat down to write
this week's Sunday Love Letter
and realized it was the 19th one…
It felt like a hug.
I hadn't planned
it that way…
I started writing these letters
at the end of January.
Then I missed a couple
when I was traveling
(and felt bad about it).
But somehow… Here we are.
The 19th letter.
On the week of my birthday.
And I'm thinking -
was it always meant to be
like this?
To be honest…
Ever since my mom passed away,
those big days of celebrations
somehow feel different.
I am weary of them
as they still tend to
bring up grief.
Even if it's not a direct feeling
of missing my mom,
somehow those days feel uneasy…
like that feeling you get
before a storm.
The sky might be blue.
The birds might be singing.
But deep down you feel
something coming.
So that's where I'm
currently at.
There's nothing wrong.
I have nothing to complain about.
But I can sense the storm.
A change. A turn.
Not good or bad…
just unfamiliar.
And it's not the easiest
feeling to be in.
Because I have no idea
what to prepare for.
All I can just do is just wait.
And live my life as I normally
would.
It might be an emotional
storm coming.
Or a life shift slowly
approaching me.
I really don't know.
But I trust that I will find
my way through it.
Whichever way it goes.
It's not here to
break me.
So maybe the 19th letter
is just a coincidence.
Or maybe it's a breadcrumb,
reminding me that something
is guiding me…
even if I can't see the full
picture yet.
And if you're feeling it too -
that quiet sense of something
stirring just beneath
the surface.
You're not alone.
I'm right here with you,
standing in the stillness,
watching the sky…
Feeling the storm
humming beneath
the calm…
And trusting that
whatever comes…
we can weather it,
my friend.
With love,
Elina