The Hum Beneath the Calm

Hi my friend,

This week, 
I celebrated my birthday.
On June 19th.

There's something 
about that number 
- nineteen - 
that's always felt like mine.

It shows up again and again 
in many different ways.

Even my name day
(like a birthday celebration 
but for your name),
is on the 19th…
Just in October.

So when I sat down to write 
this week's Sunday Love Letter
and realized it was the 19th one…
It felt like a hug.

I hadn't planned 
it that way…

I started writing these letters 
at the end of January.

Then I missed a couple 
when I was traveling
(and felt bad about it).

But somehow… Here we are.
 The 19th letter.
On the week of my birthday.

And I'm thinking - 
was it always meant to be 
like this?

To be honest…

Ever since my mom passed away,
those big days of celebrations 
somehow feel different. 

I am weary of them 
as they still tend to 
bring up grief.

Even if it's not a direct feeling 
of missing my mom, 
somehow those days feel uneasy… 
like that feeling you get 
before a storm. 

The sky might be blue.
The birds might be singing.
But deep down you feel 
something coming.  

 
Elina and Her Stardust
 

So that's where I'm 
currently at.

There's nothing wrong.
I have nothing to complain about.
But I can sense the storm.

A change. A turn.
Not good or bad…
just unfamiliar.

And it's not the easiest 
feeling to be in. 
Because I have no idea 
what to prepare for. 

All I can just do is just wait. 
And live my life as I normally 
would. 

It might be an emotional 
storm coming. 
Or a life shift slowly 
approaching me. 

I really don't know.

But I trust that I will find 
my way through it.
Whichever way it goes.

It's not here to 
break me.

So maybe the 19th letter 
is just a coincidence.

Or maybe it's a breadcrumb,
reminding me that something 
is guiding me…
even if I can't see the full 
picture yet.

And if you're feeling it too - 
that quiet sense of something 
stirring just beneath 
the surface.

You're not alone.

I'm right here with you,
standing in the stillness,
watching the sky…

Feeling the storm 
humming beneath 
the calm…

And trusting that 
whatever comes…
we can weather it,
my friend. 

With love,
Elina

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